[randomizer] memebells is for pussybitches

[dancinpenguins]

➔ Randomizer style, because it's my favorite.
➔ Option one: hit up www.random.org/ and use the randomizer to pick a number between 1 and 8. Now match that number to the themes below and drop a comment with your muse, setting up the scene.  Let us know in the subject line what number you got.  Other people will respond to you and RP it out!
➔ Option two: just drop a blank comment and I (and other people, if they want) will roll and respond, noting the scenario in the subject line and setting up the scene.  
➔ Multiple threads are cool!  You guys can play with each other too, not just me, if you want.
➔  For the complete randomizer experience, feel free to do what I'm gonna do and take a randomizer to your muse list to figure out who to tag people with.  B)


<ONE>

SHAMELESS DATING MEME.  You two have been a couple for a long long time.  What in the world could that be like??? lolarious, that's for sure.


<TWO>

BAD PICK UP LINES.  One or both characters try to woo the other with the worst flirtation attempts ever.  Worst... or best???

No, definitely worst.

<THREE>

VENGEANCE.   One or both of you wronged the other in some horrible way.  Time for payback, Liam Neeson style.


<FOUR>

COLLEGE ROOMMATES.  This one is pretty self explanatory, I think.

<FIVE>

TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET: THE R KELLY EDITION.   One or both of you are trapped in a closet, while some sort of ridiculous drama unfolds outside of it, in it, around it, who cares.  See Trapped in the Closet, Chpts. 1 -22 for more details.


<SIX>

THE FUCKING TERMINATOR.   Maybe you're riding the bus together, or waiting in line at the DMV.  But suddenly the fucking Terminator shows up from the future to kill you both.  For some reason.  ESCAPE.   FIND OUT WHAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON THAT COULD LEAD TO A FUTURE ASSASSIN COMING AFTER YOU.  BOND.  STUFF.


<SEVEN>

JURASSIC PARK.   You've both been invited on this tour of an amazing new island theme park... but shit went bad pretty fast.


<EIGHT>

SAME GIRL:  THE R. KELLY EDITION.  You've both been banging the same girl.  Or guy.  Whatever.  And you just FIGURED IT OUT.  WHAT NOW.

<OR>  MAKE UP YOUR OWN! 

Comments

5

[bigbad]

[Spike is so annoyed. Both that the Scoobies decided that to keep him out of the way while Giles has some official adult company, they should tie him up and put him in the closet in Giles' bedroom, and that they decided Buffy should hang out in there with him to watch him.]

What exactly are you supposed to stop me from doing? Murdering Giles' innocent clothes?

[slay]

[ Shit is going to get so real so fast you don't even understand how seriously I'm taking the R. Kelly influences right now. Buffy just slaps Spike upside the back of his head. ]

Believe me, I'm about as happy about this as you are. But Giles wants a favor? He gets one. That's how it works. Besides, I think the gang's still hoping if we let you run your mouth long enough, you'll give me a reason to kill you.

Speaking of which, how about you try shutting up for once. [ She budges past him to the other side of the closet, the close-quarters making it slightly awkward. She presses her head to the wall. ] I'm trying to listen.

[bigbad]

[Spike glares at the back of her head and wrinkles his nose.] It smells like over-the-hill librarian in here. You could have just let me leave. I would have come back. [No, he'd run away forever. Except actually, he probably would go back. To... make fun of Buffy or something.

After a moment, he crawls forward too.]

What's happening out there? Can you hear?

[slay]

[ She shoves him for that. God, it's like the chip was also designed to make him more annoying. ] What part of shut up so I can hear was I not clear on? I mean, seriously, you're -- [ There's the sound of a door shutting and Buffy immediately clamps a hand over Spike's mouth. As if ... he were the one talking. ] Shh! [ Because Giles and whoever the hell else are now in the room that goes with their cozy closet space. ]

[bigbad]

[It was, okay. It gives him shocks whenever he's not getting on her nerves. Luckily, that's never. B) And ugh, Buffy's hand on his mouth. He wasn't even doing anything. Sort of. But it's pure instinct to bite at it, which causes his chip to go off, and he makes a muffled noise of pain and grabs his head.]

[slay]

[ She jerks her hand away from his mouth at that -- because, eww. Spike spit. Spit of Spike. On her hand. She rubs it on her jeans like it's burning her and mouths 'act your age!' with a scowl.

Outside the closet, a scene unfolds, and as the voices pick up, Buffy moves to press her eye to the crack between the doors. ]

Riley told me that reliable information said a hostile had escaped from one of our facilities into this area. I wanted to know if you'd heard anything about it. [ It's Maggie Walsh. Buffy looks scandalized right now, because Professor Walsh is in Giles' house and questioning him and seriously? She shoots a sidelong look at Spike as Giles responds. ]

And now I'm telling you that you can rest assured we've seen nothing of the sort. Buffy eliminates all of the demons in the area that come to her attention. If your hostile does make himself known, he won't last long.

[ ... Did Giles just protect Spike? Buffy is trying to resist that impulse to just shove him out of the closet accidentally. It's really hard. ]

I'd like to believe that, Mr. Giles, but Riley is my best. If it were anyone else, I might dismiss it, but I fully intend to insure that all the loose ends here are tied up.

[bigbad]

[...that sounds like the lady from the Initiative. Spike gently prods at Buffy to get her to move.] They're talking about me! [He hisses.] I want to bloody see!

[Spike can't see or hear much, but it's nice his hated enemies are protecting him. Makes him feel all warm and fuzzy. Too bad it doesn't seem to be working.]

There are too many demons about to keep track of every one, and Buffy tends to kill on sight. [Spike can't get a good view, but he'd bet anything there's glasses cleaning going on.] Your "hostile" is most likely already dead.

Yes, I've noticed Buffy isn't very good at taking notes. Nonetheless, this one may have stood out. It had remarkably high strength levels for this area.

[Most likely cause Buffy usually kills them before they can get that old and tough. Still, Spike is definitely smirking right now. It's nice to be appreciated.]

[slay]

I am so good at taking notes! I mean, maybe I'm not the queen of Note-Takedonia, but I -- I try! [ She blurts it out, scandalized, and then covers her mouth promptly. Professor Walsh looks around for a moment, pinged by the muffled speech. Giles excuses it as having left the radio on. He leaves the room for a moment and Maggie begins to snoop. Just as she comes to the closet, Giles comes back in. She stops short, and Buffy lets out a slow relieved breath. ]

High strength levels, perhaps, but not higher than Buffy's. She's been taking her training very seriously this year, in part I believe thanks to you. It would seem you've solved your own problem. [ Buffy puffs up proudly at that, even though it's the opposite of true. ]

She's quite strong, it's true. I never anticipated --

Then, you see, you have nothing to worry about. [ They both quiet and Buffy's forehead wrinkles in confusion because ... why isn't Prof Walsh leaving. Wtf. She presses closer to the gap to peer through and sees ... Giles putting the moves on Maggie Walsh. Holy shit. ]

[bigbad]

Brilliant move, pet. [Spike hisses in her ear. He can't really see through the crack right now. But his nose is good enough that he can guess what's going on. And he doesn't want to see. Look, he's evil and not easily disturbed, but he doesn't want to see creepy old people sex. Even if old, in this case, is like a third his age. But seriously, Maggie Walsh naked? No one wants to see that.]

Then again, maybe being discovered would be better. [Despite his words, he keeps his voice quiet. He doubts the over-the-hill lovebirds have heard.]

[slay]

[ Buffy stares in horror for a moment, then quickly covers her face in her hands. She moves hand away from her face after the fact to shove Spike in front of her between herself and the gap in the door so that she doesn't have to look. ]

Oh God. Oh God, there's tongue. I'm gonna throw up. [ She'll probably aim for Spike. ]

[bigbad]

[Spike, gentleman that he is, offers her a jacket he pulled off of a hanger. Okay, it's less gentlemanly and more self-preservation. He doesn't want to get barfed on. And also this way she'd be getting revenge on Giles. And destroying a tweed monstrosity. God, Giles' fashion sense is nearly as horrifying as Xander's is.

Now he's peeking through the crack. He turns back to Buffy.] Watcher-boy's got his shirt off. Not the tie, though. And-- [He peeks out again.] Huh. Guess this might not be his first time with a woman after all. I misjudged him.

[slay]

Why are you giving me updates? Updates that I do not need or ask for and -- [ She makes a disgusted noise and then shoves him aside into the wall of the closet. It's a tiny space so she can't exactly shove him that hard, but the point is there. ] And why are you commentating and watching in the first place? Creepy much? Get a hobby. Get ... I don't know, pay-per-view. Do not get Giles and Professor Walsh.

[bigbad]

Oh, right, I'll just color code Rupert's ties. You may not have noticed, but we're stuck in a sodding closet! [His voice slowly rises as he speaks, bordering on hearable. Let's hope Walsh and Giles are too busy to notice.]

[slay]

Tie organization - still a better pastime than tuning in to the British XXX Parody of Grumpier Old Men! [ Her voice is raising too, and after some shuffling around in the main room, Walsh approaches the door. Giles is busy trying to dissuade her and convince her not to look in it, but man, it's gon' happen. She's gonna see Buffy and Spike and this is gonna be awkward. Dun dun. Buffy produces a stake, because her instinct is ... arm herself and be defensive. She's R.Kelly.

She walks up to the closet.
Now she's close-up to the closet.
Now she's at the closet.
Now she's opening the closet. ]

[bigbad]

[Spike isn't sure what to do. Unlike Buffy, he can't just put a piece of wood through the professor's heart, and he's pretty sure Buffy wouldn't. She doesn't seem likely to abandon her no killing humans rule for him. Especially when Buffy wants to kill him, which she does at least half the time. Meaning what he needs now is for Professor Walsh to not think too hard about why Buffy's in there, and not think hard at all about who Spike might be.

He grab's Buffy's shoulder and pulls her down on top of him, mindful of the stake that's way too close to certain areas for him to be happy about it. But this way his head is hidden by some longer overcoats.]

Quick, pretend we were snogging!

[slay]

[ When Buffy lands with a thud on top of him, the ick face starts. And she keeps her stake against his chest subconsciously. ] Oh, eww! In a major way, eww.

Didn't you get enough of this from Will's spell? 'Cause I sure did. Not interested. I am acres of uninterested. The way I see it, she finds you, my life gets a whole lot easi -- [ She stops her long-winded ramble of ~disinterest~ when the door budges and immediately drops the stake and leans down to kiss him hurriedly. You'd think since this is just a kiss of disguise and necessity, there'd be no tongue. You'd be wrong.

Oh, gross. Majorly gross. In fact this is pretty much the most degrading experience of her life. Maggie pulls open the closet doors and stares down in confused disgust. Don't worry, Maggie. Buffy's right there with you. She sits up like she's surprised. ]

Miss Summers. Perhaps you and your friend would like to step out and explain. [ And suddenly the world of badness that was this idea descends upon Buffy. Riley. Oh, God, Riley. And there's Giles at Professor Walsh's shoulder, pulling his shirt back on and buttoning it up under his tie and oh God, Buffy can't get the word steveadore out of her head and that's just not a good place to be. ]

Oh, no. I'm definitely good with the unexplainy. I'm very anti-explain. I could write essays on how anti-explaining I'm feeling right about now. Not that I ... want to write an essay. I just -- [ She laughs awkwardly. ] Hi, Professor Walsh.

[bigbad]

[Spike isn't enjoying this even a little bit. Gross, Slayer tongue. Even worse than last time because he knows what he's doing. But it's better than being a lab rat again, so he's kissing back. And pretending it's less than horrifying. He sits up too, keeping his face as shadowed as he can without being obvious about the hiding.]

Seems pretty, uh, dern obvious what wurr doing. [Spike's fake American accent? Even worse than Buffy's fake British accent.] If yew tew could just shove off?

[Giles is looking pretty disgusted too, since he knows exactly what was going on, but sheesh, like he has room to judge. Spike has to be way less terrifying a sexual prospect than Professor Walsh.]

Clearly, the children do not have a proper sense of when and where it is inappropriate, to, uh... [Giles' hands go up to take off his glasses, but they're already off, so there will be no glasses cleaning for him.] Perhaps it's best if we let Miss Summers and her, uh, friend here get themselves sorted out.

[slay]

[ Buffy climbs quickly to her feet, mostly to get herself off of Spike because oh god the disgust, but it looks overall just like she's flustered. She "subtly" pulls one of Giles' jackets off the hanger and lets it fall onto Spike's head before she reaches down to grab his arm and start tugging him up and out of the closet. ]

No! No. You stay. We'll -- We'll just go ... you know. Elsewhere. My dorm! I ... have a dorm. And we will be there. [ She's shoving Spike toward the door. ] You two just ... carry on with whatever it is you were ... [ She can't even pretend to encourage. She just deflates into a definite; ] Eww.

[bigbad]

[It's awkward wandering around with a stupid tweed jacket on his head, but it's way better than the alternative.]

Yeah. Enjoy your weirrrd old perrrson sex. [Sorry, Buffy, he couldn't help himself. Really, why does he talk?] Come on, sweetharrrt.

[slay]

[ Buffy elbows him for that. Both ... being a dumbass and expecting his accent to work and calling her sweetheart. So unnecessary. She shoves him roughly out the door and almost crosses the threshold herself when Walsh stops her. ]

Wait. [ Giles and Buffy exchange nervous looks, and then Buffy looks at Walsh with a shrug. ]

Something wrong? Or, uh, you know. Wrong-er? Wrong-er than what's already transpired wrong?

[ Professor Walsh's gaze goes straight over Buffy's shoulder to where Spike is, scrutinizing. ] I know that voice.

[bigbad]

Do you? How weeerrd. Uh. We've really got to be going.

[Spike's still got a jacket on his head, yep. He pulls it up high enough so that he can see, though he leaves it covering his head. Also, it's daytime and they may need to make a dash for the sewers, so he wants to have some protection.]

No. Wait. [Walsh walks closer, giving Spike a shrewd look.] I know you from somewhere.

[Shit.]