I thought I made that clear when we spoke last. [ he struggles to keep it casual, but her desire to know about him, to know him sends a thrill through him that sabotages the attempt instantly.

he feels it again, that desire to be honest with her, to see if he can get her to do the same in kind. ] I'm tired of trying to stay away from you. I've resigned myself to doing what I want to do, instead of what I should. Regardless of what happens as a result. [ it's painfully honest, dangerously so, but he feels the need to paint it clearly for her: that this decision on his part is reckless, selfish, that consequences are inevitable, and he's finally dismissed them. ]